


Messing With My Pack Would Be Bad

by Simplistically_content



Series: To Become a Pack... [11]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Stiles being a 'mom', absolutely no cock-blocking, death threats with a smile, this is officially an AU because I'm planning on doing something with the twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simplistically_content/pseuds/Simplistically_content
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>... for your general health and status as 'alive'.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Stiles. The Twins. A conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Messing With My Pack Would Be Bad

**Author's Note:**

> See, here's the thing. When I started reading this I thought it might get to 500 words and it'd be a fun little thing I could post to get out of my system but then it kinda... simultaneously escalated and devolved at the same time. 
> 
> I'm gonna stick this in the To Become a Pack series as a side-story (a very short one, admittedly) to the main story (which in itself isn't exactly huge but whatever). Have a read and let me know what you think :)

“You have a thing, on your face, right?” Stiles mused, looking at both twins, from one to the other and back again, his face betraying nothing of his meaning. The twins looked amused anyway, but asked what he was talking about. “The thing on your face, your nose, you have one, you both have one actually. And when you get all freaky together and morph into that, quite frankly, impressive hunk of Alpha which, admittedly, is kinda cool, it stands to reason that your sense of smell doubles, right? Am I right? I’m right, aren’t I?” Stiles continued to look between them and was amused to note that all he seemed to be doing was confusing him.

“Your point?” Ethan (or Aiden? Stiles had never been good with twins) sighed, growing bored with the questioning.

“My point, my good, very good, overcompensating for something humongous friend... my point is... the next time you point your nose in her direction,” he pointed towards Lydia, who was sat with the rest of his friends at a table in the picnic area, all of them watching the exchange with interest as they all (Stiles and the twins included) had the final period of the day free. “Or his direction,” he pointed to Danny, who was sat next to Lydia, and who was looking a little miffed but a few mouth movements from Isaac calmed the other boy down.

“Wait a second,” Aiden (or Ethan - it was 50/50) held up a hand. “You’re giving us the big brother - _slash_ \- best friend - _slash_ \- dad talk... over them? Really? You’re going there?” his smile was getting bigger and bigger as he talked and he ended on a chuckle. Stiles beamed at him.

“Damn right. Because, y’see, if you’d used your noses, both of you... together if that’s how you like it, I’m not one to judge,” he made a ‘whatever’ face and held both his hands up in a mockery of a placating manner. “Then, you would’ve caught onto the fact that they... both of them, are pack. Derek’s pack. My pack. And you just ask anyone... I don’t take shit from my own alpha when he tries to mess with my pack, what in the name of anything and everything you have ever held dear... makes you think I’d let you mess with them? Hmm?”

“Oh yeah?” Aiden/Ethan (he was gonna buy them badges) snorted and folded his, quite honestly, impressive arms over his equally impressive chest and looked down at him from his barely inch height advantage. “And what can you, the only human we’ve noticed in your little pack without any discernible talents or bonus features, do to stop us?” Both twins frowned and looked back over to the table where Stiles’ friends were sat and when Stiles looked he caught them all waving at the twins frantically, telling them to just stop talking. When Stiles caught them, they gave him innocent looks and settled down again.

“Oh my God,” Ethan/Aiden stared at Stiles like he was a specimen in a petri dish. “What the hell are you? Their mother?”

Even Stiles with his human hearing heard his friends groan out loud and the twins blinked.

“Of course not,” Stiles grinned. “No womanly birth giving features here,” he gestured down to his body. “However, they’re my pups, wolf or human,” his voice had lowered so the people around them didn’t overhear “And I get that you’ve already set your sights on my pack. You’re a pack of alphas, it’s kinda what you do. More power too you, may the best pack win, whatever. Pack defenses is Derek’s territory. This?” he gestured back to his friends again. “Is mine. All I’m saying is, if you do anything to hurt either one of them, you won’t even make it to the final showdown.”

The twins looked at him and he knew they were listening to his heart rate, amongst other things, to see how genuine his threat was.

Stiles saw their ears twitch and a few seconds later he heard the familiar engine driving up to the school. He glanced back at the table and saw his friends look away from him quickly, busying themselves with looking suspiciously guilty for calling in the cavalry. He loved them, he honestly did. But sometimes...

“So what you’re saying is,” Aiden/Ethan started. “We’re not allowed to go near your pack anymore?” he was _pouting_. That was the only way Stiles could describe it. It looked weird. They both had baby faces but combined with the muscles it was just wrong. _Alphas!_

“I think if I said that, Danny would kick me in the balls for cock-blocking him and Lydia... I don’t even want to imagine what Lydia would do. However, that’s not a blanket approval of hurt, death and destruction because seriously, that’s just boring. You guys, you really need to sort out that work ethic. All I’m saying is, no hurting the human pack members. And I’m asking nicely. Remember that. The next time we have to talk about this, one of you will lose a brother.”

“Stiles?” Stiles spun around and smiled innocently at his alpha, who absolutely did not look impressed. “What have I told you about taunting the alpha pack?”

“Probably the same thing you told everyone else?” Stiles casually strolled over to stop in front of Derek and tipped his head to the side in a public show of deference.

“Drama queen,” Derek muttered against his neck, eyes flashing red back at the twins, who were giving them thoughtful looks.

“You didn’t have to come and play alpha. Listen to my heart, do I sound nervous at all?” Stiles stepped away when Derek let him go and flicked the alpha’s nose with a grin, laughing when his eyes crossed, irritated. “It was a friendly conversation. Aiden-slash-Ethan got the message. No one was cock-blocked, all is well.”

“You’re taking this pack-mom thing to the extreme,” Derek groaned, reaching out and resting his hand on the back of Stiles’ neck as they walked away from the twins and towards the pack.

“They’re alphas, they could snap Danny and Lydia like twigs. They needed incentive not to.”

“And you think you’re a big enough threat for them not to?”

“I have ways. Ways and connections and you’d do well to remember that Derek Hale.” Derek just huffed.

“I’m one of your connections, idiot. How can I forget?”

“Think of it this way... if either Danny or Lydia are hurt, one of them dies. They can take the risk, or do right by the pack and maintain a non-hurting interaction,” he paused and made a face. “Isaac notwithstanding.”

“Hey!” they heard Isaac shout, offended.

“And how would you kill one of them should the need arise?” Derek raised an eyebrow, releasing Stiles’ neck but Stiles just grinned.

“Spoilers, my love. Spoilers,” he sauntered (Yes, sauntered) away and Derek growled.

“That’s it. You’re not allowed to watch Doctor Who on your own anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's that time again! I know.
> 
> My Recs Blog is [here!](http://scfandomrecs.tumblr.com/) (Litereally packed full of recs and other goodies). I have no shame oh dear lord.
> 
> My Regular tumblr is [here!](http://simplistically-content.tumblr.com/) That's... yeah. 
> 
> Follow! Talk! Message!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic! (it bordered on crack, oh dear)


End file.
